Thursday of that week (March 29) there was a facebook post by T-pilot that he would be in Reno that weekend. If you need a refresher on T-pilot http://datecrydrink.blogspot.com/2011/01/new-year-and-full-of-hope.html I resolved to not text him. If he wanted to see me he knew how to get a hold of me, he knows I live in Reno. He texted me Friday night. Sigh. I already knew I would not be able to resist seeing him if he asked. He wanted to meet up. We agreed to Monday night...he would be leaving Tuesday. Short little trip. As I am a whole year wiser than the last time I saw him I knew what to expect and told myself no falling back into a little crush because it will amount to nothing. PLUS there is someone local who has already proven he is a pretty decent guy.
So Saturday night rolls around, M&M picks me, opens the car door for me and we head out. I am hoping I looked better than the last time he saw me...We proceed to have a really great night. He is very social, like many men that I am into, and he buys my drinks...no whiskey. He knows people there as well...including a girl he apparently ended things with less than a week ago. Oh joy. She and her friends are super mature and walk by, stop, point, laugh. Really?! I feel awkward. I know they are judging me as the way girls do. They stand behind us during a few songs when my friend's band plays and say some mocking things. I feel self conscious. He asks if I want him to say something. No need to escalate anything. If they had said something to me directly then I would have had to become the Aimee Bitch we all know and love, luckily it did not come to this. I am not a drama girl. They are clearly immature and dumb. I didn't give them the satisfaction of acknowledging their presence. Reno Metromix (you could look it up and stalk us) was there and took our picture. I put my hand through his arm for the picture. He later told me this was his favorite part of the night because to him it was like this guy is mine. That's sweet. After the concert we grabbed some pizza with my friends. He drove me home and walked me to my door and kissed me good night. It was nice. I had a great time.
The next day my friend told me they really liked him...but did I. They couldn't tell and they thought if they couldn't tell, maybe he couldn't tell. It's been established I don't flirt...I'm just not good at it and I'm not comfortable doing it - probably because of my super high self esteem. So M&M asked if I wanted to see a movie Sunday night. Okay, how about 21 Jumpstreet. I may have already seen this movie, but really who doesn't want to see a double dose of Channing Tatum?! He picked me up, and opened my car door again. How long do you think that is going to last? Ha. On the way to the movie I told him that I did like him even if my actions don't show it as it takes me awhile to let my guard down (due to no reason other than men are big huge douche bags). He said he was "in no rush." He put his hand on my knee at the movie and it was a fine time. He walked me to my door at the end of the night and gave me a small kiss.
The next day, Monday, I had a pretty shitty ass day at work...you know the day where nothing seems to go right and you kind of want to cry. It was one of those days and I may have vented to him about it. As I was pulling up to my house I noticed something on my porch...FLOWERS!! I teared up. Do you want to know the last time I got flowers?? At least eight years ago, unless you count the flowers I had to ASK for from Mateo on Valentine's Day. Oh don't get me started on all the red flags I over looked with him. Anyway. They were lovely - three star gazer lillies and a rose. This M&M character is really showing what a nice thoughtful man he is. I could really use a nice guy in my life.
Monday night I am also supposed to see T-pilot. I talked to my sister on my way to meet him and she pretty much summed it up..."fuck T-pilot." I know she is right. I really am not even that excited to see T-pilot. Honestly. I just feel like it will be some old friends catching up...especially since we are meeting at a bar and Book will be there. I do want to look good though. I wear black tight pants and my knee high boots with a red top - power red. I walk into the bar and he gives me a big hug. He has lost weight since I last saw him (of course so have I), but he still has these nice broad shoulders. Dammit. Chemistry is unexplainable and with him I just can't deny it either. He's a guys guy and is just so manly to me. He flies planes in the Airforce, he hunts and looks really good in camo holding a rifle. I know why one of his call names (what they call each other over the pilot radios) was Dreamy. He is. Dammit. I hardly notice Book and the two girls he has with him. I've met one of them before (last year) and the other is just a young 21 year old thing. She later told me she had the shirt I was wearing. Awesome. I'm dressed like a 21 year old. I need to rethink this shirt.
Synopsis of the night...drinking, talking and oh kissing. Kissing like we were making up for the past year. He is not the best looking guy I've ever kissed, but he is the one person I've had this kind of chemistry with. Sigh. The good thing is I don't leave this night with some lofty hope of something happening between us. I leave with the hope I find this sort of chemistry with someone else. He did text me the next day to say he had a great time and it was too bad we couldn't hang out more. I'm proud of myself for not falling again. The End. It's the chemistry I want...not him. Will I find it?
It has been two and a half weeks since my date with M&M and things are going well. I have seen him often and hear from him daily. He brought me lunch on Easter when I had to work. He brought me lunch yesterday as well. There is no doubt about his interest in me. He compliments me all the time. I have fun with him and I like being around him. We haven't had any "romantic" dates, they are usually one hour casual meets ups, and he has definitely taken what I said about needing to feel comfortable with someone and letting my guard down to heart. I probably shouldn't have told him that. We need to make out like teenagers...it hasn't happened. I need a chemistry test. He is cooking me dinner tomorrow night... He said I could bring crazy Lola. He has two big dogs. Our kids are going to meet! We are going to the San Jose Sharks play off game on Thursday. I really enjoy our time together. He is ready to be exclusive. I freaked out. This is something that I have wanted for years...now that I have someone who wants it I am kind of panicked. I didn't really expect that out of me. I haven't had a relationship in years and a lot will change. There really are a lot of good things about being single...but its ultimately not how I want to live my life. Luckily he is willing to give me time. He is a good guy. Hopefully only good things to come...
It has been pointed out to me that I tend to like assholes. Trying to break the cycle...
Keep thinking happy dating thoughts for me. Until next time...
