"A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it."

I hate online dating. Hate it. I don't know why I decided to do it again. Oh that's right...the chance to find my true love. Well after just over two weeks. I am over it. Done. I think as I came closer to meeting the 3-4 men I was corresponding with the less I wanted to be online. Why? I have been trying to reason with myself over the last few days and I just cannot convince myself to continue. I was corresponding with these men that I did not find repulsive, but really they have not sparked my interest either and I have not been excited to email them back. The one man that I actually did have an interest in after several emails decided he was no longer interested and did not return my last email. I have done some searches and the profiles that have caught my attention I have emailed. They did not respond either. So really this coupled with the idea of meeting people I'm not that excited about and having to get all ready and cute just to be disappointed in the end is deterring my once optimistic attitude. We would go out and there would only be the following scenarios...have a good time, like him, never hear from him again...have a good time, but realize he just isn't for me...have an awful time...have a good time, date a week or two and never hear from him again. I want to quit. I am reminded of the Friends episode where Chandler wants to quit the gym and he just keeps repeating "I want to quit the gym" to the gym guy convincing him to stay. That is how I am feeling with my own conscious. I want to quit the online dating game. I truly want to find a nice guy because I know I have a lot to offer and am a good person. I want to quit the online dating game. Maybe one of these guys that I'm not excited about will be the perfect guy for me. I want to quit the online dating game. Keep your mind open, just like you have been saying for the past month. I want to quit the online dating game. You never know it could work - it only takes one. I want to quit the online dating game.

I want to meet someone the old fashion way. Drunk and in a bar. Wait, I'm over 30 and don't hang out at bars anymore. I want to meet someone walking down the sidewalk and they bump into me and spill out the contents of my purse. We lock eyes and I know he is the one. We then see each other at a work event the following night and through random occurences we fall in love. Wait, I don't live in a romantic comedy.

Patti Stanger of the Millionaire Matchmaker says to her clients "Make love a priority," and yet a friend told me on Thanksgiving to stop looking and that is when it will happen. I'm at a loss. I think it is random when people will find eachother. Yes there are people who are looking and find the one and yes there are people who are NOT looking and find the one. I honestly do not know if I have ever truly not looked for someone. Of course there are the times after a breakup when you are not looking, but really that is just you getting over someone and that takes time. Usually once I am over it I am ready to look again. Maybe I should try just living my life and being happy. However, I feel that I truly already do that. I am very happy with my life and where I am, but on the other hand I do think having someone in it would be fantastic. I want to quit the online dating game. I just don' think I can do this online anymore. I feel so defeated. I took a two month break from the online dating world when I decided to go back. Clearly it was not enough time. My pessimism will not help me find my fish.

I think part of my declining excitement about the prospect of the online dating is the "quality" of men that have been emailing me. I put it in quotes because they just are not for me. The 52 year old man (that is my father's age) is just not going to woo me and I find it a tad disgusting. I am having to rule out at least 50 percent, if not more, because they have children. I know you may be saying, just go for it, but no. I do not want to do the kids thing right now. Maybe in five years I won't have a choice, but right now it isn't going to happen. You are never number one when someone has a child, and you shouldn't be, but it is just something I am not going to budge on right now. I have gotten emails that make absolutely no sense and I wonder how they are even functioning in life when they cannot put together a coherent sentence. I am turned off by the people who send their phone number in the first email they ever send me and they say "text me." I do not think you get to know someone via texts. I said this to one of them and he said "well you don't really either through slow email." I wanted to respond, "Then don't online date, you moron." I want to quit the online dating game. I don't want to date someone out of the area and put in my requirements to live within 75 miles. I have done long distance twice and guess what...I'm still single. I had someone email me and say "I'm just in town visiting friends and had to change my city location so I could email you. Want to chat?" Uh no. I want to quit the online dating game. Another fish emailed me "hello....my name is Lxxxx...i thought i would make myself known...I am somewhat new to reno...but not to tahoe...it is actually one of the reasons i moved here..i dont know if youll find any reason to respond here...other than me just wanting to say hello...make new friends...and see what kind of trouble i can get myself into...i would like to talk here if you would...im a good man...so dont be shy...stopped bein an axe murder a long time ago...so its cool..jk...again...nice to meet you...Lov and light...L" His profile did not interest me at all and he seemed to be rather out there so I just sent a simple response saying, "I'm sorry I'm not interested." He wrote, "thats funny....im not interested either....peace..."  I want to quit the online dating game. I try and be nice and send a not interested email, but so far it has backfired at me a few times and you know what - screw it, why do I have to be nice?
I don't know how many people read this blog, but to my seven faithful followers, I am sorry I will not be entertaining you with my online dating adventures. Do not fret, I still plan to blog about my adventures in dating, whenever it may happen. I will entertain you with my attempts to meet men on my own or who knows maybe somebody someday will have someone they think will be perfect for me. I just can't do the online dating thing right now...if I haven't had a date in six months I will reconsider. Until then, destiny awaits...

One Week

I received an email from PoF just to remind me I have been on the site for seven days and to remind me of my password. Am I going to get this every week? Do I need a weekly reminder that I'm still single and still looking to online dating to help me find a special fish? So as of one week I have no dates, but I did shed some tears and drink some wine. Unfortunately I heard from an ex-boyfriend this week. After two years he could still make me emotional and I hate that. He not only broke my heart he crushed it and my spirit for awhile. I was a bitter girl for a long time. This was somone I cared deeply for and he took advantage of that, he was unfaithful, narcissistic and eventually it was evident our lifestyles were not compatible. I gave this man more than one chance with me and that is my own fault, but its because we want to believe in the good of people and they can change. Most don't. I spoke to him for just a few minutes Thursday night and he basically was saying that he missed me and he knows what he wants. I told him I was not going to get into this again. I told him I wanted him to be happy and I wished that he could want that for me to. He hung up on me. He made me feel guilty because I didn't want to talk to him. Luckily I had a couple friends over for our weekly dinner. If they were not here I probably would have wallowed in my own pity for awhile. He is part of a past that I do not need to revisit. I want to remain hopeful about what my future holds and the bottom line is I would never trust him and I deserve better!

So you may be wondering how things are going with the potential fish. I continue to hear from Rosy Cheeks, Smile Maker and Boy Next Door paramedic, but not one has asked to meet me. I am finding that I am running out of things to say over the internet and it makes my interest start to dwindle. I realize I can ask them to do something, but part of me wants them to take the initiative! This coming week is Thanksgiving so I will start asking my little fishies if they want to meet after the holiday. Business owner tattoo sleeve guy and I seem to have similar lifestyles - meaning we are kind of home bodies, keep to ourselves and take our dogs to the dog park. I am awaiting to hear from him since the last email I sent a few days ago. I hope to hear from him. The future doctor and I exchanged some emails, but they were mostly him asking about the hospital I work for and if I knew anything about the residency program. I think he was just using me for information because I have not heard from him since my last email a few days ago either. The thing about this online dating site is you can see when someone has read your email or not, if they read it and deleted it, or deleted it without reading it. All just more ways to see when you are being rejected. I also have not heard from Typical Snowboarder type either.

I began a new correspondence with a fish who has a job in fire protection, likes the 49ers and does not have kids. He is the only blond fish I have corresponded with.

I did email Santa Crawl Jerk back and just said "I'm pretty sure I met you Santa Crawl of last year and then a few weeks later you ended up telling me off via text." He sent four emails in response basically saying he was out of town for Christmas last year and that he doesn't remember that, am I sure it is him, and that he is a really nice guy who never forgets a face. Ha. I emailed him back with some details that I know of him and he responded, "yeap...that may of been me then...sorry if i acted that way...im a really nice guy...i'm thinking i may of been typsy...how rude of me." WTF I must be forgetable. He does not remember meeting me, talking on the phone with me multiple times, asking me to watch a movie at his house and wanting to meet up with me at midnight. Although I like to think he is just a jerk player and has talked to so many women in the last year that he clearly cannot remember every single one, even one that is 30-something and fabulous. My response to his lame ass email was, "As a "nice guy" you didn't understand that I'm a nice girl and didn't want to come over to your house the day after meeting you or meet you out at midnight one night. You told me if I would step outside my idea of a text book relationship maybe I would be happy and that when I grow up to call you. You sure didn't act like a nice guy. So goodluck." All he said back was, "I understand its cool just meeting people...anyway take care" Seriously he has no clue and what the hell is with that stupid green dancing banana? I'm glad I never actually went out with this guy.
I have continued to get emails from people that just say, "Hi," or "How are you." I do not like these emails and generally just delete them. I think if someone was truly interested they would have come up with an actual sentence. Fish that email me with an actual paragraph that I do not have an interest in I have been responding with a quick email just to let them know I'm not interested. Sometimes that does not matter and I continue to get emails from them. I am continuing to delete emails from men that are clearly way too young for me or on the site just to find people to hang out with, but not a commitment. I got an email from a man in his 40's and had never had a relationship longer than a year. His headline should just read "Afraid of Commitment." I will not be corresponding with him. I had a random email that said "You look really young. Thats a good thing though; you know getting carded still at the quickie mart when buying beer. So maybe
you look young because your life is non-stressful. " Definitely an odd little fish here. How does he expect me to respond to that? There are weirdos everywhere!! Why do I actually think I'm going to meet a nice normal person online? Do I know of any success stories? No.

I got an email from a radiologist who just moved here. He only has one picture up. I hate it when there is only one picture!! You can't really tell what someone looks like. He gave me his number and we haven't even corresponded. I find this odd too. How does he know I'm not some crazy stalker lady who is on the site to scam people out of money or rob their homes or something - because I could be. I also keep getting compliments on my nice smile. I should whiten my teeth so it sparkles in the light if I ever meet anyone. So that wraps up the PoF update.

I had another exercise in talking to strangers last night. UFC 123 was last night. I went down to the local casino and paid my $10 to watch it on a huge screen and have access to an open bar. This room was full of men. I sat in the back with an empty seat on either side of me so my sister could join me on her breaks from dealing. I had two men talk to me during the 2.5 hours I was seated there. One gentleman with a backwards white hat and piercing through his chin asked if my friend and I would like to join his friends in the third row. My friend was my sister and she was back at work by this time so he must have seen us sitting there while he was in line for a free drink. I told him I would ask her. He returned awhile later and asked if my friend was coming back and I said she would be eventually and he again asked if I wanted to join him. I declined. Why you may ask...because he smelled like cigarettes and I really didn't want to go sit with a bunch of strangers. If they had come and sat by me it would have been different and I would have done my best to put my shy self away and been friendly. The other guy to speak to me was sitting two seats away and he was at least 50. He introduced himself and shook my hand. He then proceeded to ask me lots of questions - including where my boyfriend was, what I did for a living, was I enjoying the fights, was he bothering me and would I come sing karaoke with him after the fights. I was polite and answered his questions. I told him I would be gambling after the fights and he said he would be by my side if I wanted him to be. Ugh. Actually buddy I don't want you to be, but I just told him he could do whatever he wanted. Luckily my sister joined me again on her break and we were able to leave the UFC viewing room together.

I sat down at a Black Jack table - there were no women gambling. Seriously ladies where you at?? I proceeded to have a fabulous time with the gentlemen at the table. There were four of them who were vacationing here from Oregon. They were food truck drivers. We all chatted, drank a little and tipped the dealer. They were not high rollers, but just having a good time and we played for two hours. After gambling we went downstairs for karaoke!! I actually sang two songs, each with one of the truck drivers. They were a good time and never creepy. They were complimentary and could not understand why I did not have a boyfriend. I don't know either and I never know how to respond to such a quesiton - because I am also asked it a lot on the PoF site. I need to remember that I am a catch and not let something like hearing from an ex bring me down. It is not me that is doing something wrong - I just have to believe that I have not met my catch yet.

Gone Fishing

When I last left you I was heading out to the casino for hopefully a fun night as a single and fabulous lady. I got to the casino well before the main event of the fight, but that did not matter as there were no free seats to be had...except a Black Jack table. I jumped at the lone middle chair with the tv directly above the dealer's head so I would have a "front row" seat for the fight. I did not realize that I sat at a table of all men, I was clearly focused on the prime location. I proceded to have quite an entertaining night with these five out of towners. They were around my age and fire fighters. They were complimentary to me and said I was the Lady Luck as our table was doing quite a good job of winning. One of them gave me chips when my stash would run low and when I protested he told me to consider it like he was buying me drinks. They were a loud and rambuctious group and they said I was awesome because most people would have left the table. None of them made overt pickup lines or gestures to me, but they did want me to go dancing with them. I thought this was great practice for my goal of talking to strangers...until one of their friends showed up with his fiance...and her friend...who just signed a modeling contract that day! I'm not kidding. She sat down at the table and I was like, uh I know I can't compete with a model, there goes my good time! After the fight I went to my sister's table. She took $10 from me. Bitch.

Apparently it is the week of engagements - Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey after four years of on and off dating, Prince William and Kate Middleton after 8 years of dating, and of course Jessica Simpson and some unknown ex football player after dating a mere six months. It is also the beginning of all those wretched diamond commercials made especially for Christmas time. They show the happy couple outside in the snow when he presents her with a box - always geared toward making the woman happy with diamonds. This is all just to remind me that once again I will be spending the holidays as a solo person...for the fourth year in a row. Fun. I know some of you may be thinking, but you will have your family and friends, and you would be correct. I love my family and friends very much, but it is not the same has having a partner to go at life together, someone who is willing to tell you they love you when you are having a bad day.

So lets go fishing! I have been on PoF (Plenty of Fish) for four days. Apparently that is enough time for two people to get angry at me. I have gotten repeated emails from two fishes that I did not care to correspond with. Apparently this is a great offense and I should be ashamed of my superficialness. However, I would like to say to them, um, really?? We are on a dating site, the whole thing is superficial. We are being judged by the pictures we put up and the content of our profile including grammar and just plain stupid statements. If there is another place to be more superficial I would like to know. Guaranteed I am getting responses based on my pictures, not on what my profile says. Now I agree that someone we may rate as a 7 will become a 9 or a 10 when we get to know them, but online dating is not exactly a traditional way of getting to know someone. You can't feed off of their mannerisms, flirt, be silly or even show your humerous side and you have to be somewhat creative in trying to show your personality. You can only small chat for awhile and eventually you will have to meet. I am a firm believer that no matter how great you "get along" over emails if there is absolutely no clicking when you meet it is not a good sign. I would prefer to meet people sooner rather than later. I know that I present myself better in person one on one because I am a mute in a group of people.

So I have had no less than 20 emails in my inbox each day. It is a little overwhelming. Online dating is like having a part time job. You have to dedicate a few hours a day to reading the emails, looking at the profiles and searching for your own matches and trying to create smart and witty emails to the available fish. I don't want to bore you with every single email so I will give you the highlights.

The guy who I corresponded with on match before taking myself off for Douche Lord has not responded to my email. He is probably thinking oh yeah, you're the bitch.

I got an email from a man I met at Santa Crawl last year (dress up as sexy santas and go bar hopping). He is one good looking man with a southern accent. We spoke on the phone for about a week. He wanted me to come to his house for a movie. I declined as I did not know this man and I was not going to just go to his house. He didn't seem to understand this. A few days later he texted me while I was at my office Christmas party asking if I wanted to hang out that night. I was looking cute in my dress and thought, sure. He didn't call until after midnight. I did not answer as I figured a man only calls you after midnight for one thing. The next day he told me off via text messages. I wish I had saved them and could regurgitate them to you. It was quite shocking. He basically told me if I could ever get over my textbook idea of a relationship maybe I could be happy and when I grow up to call him. Clearly he doesn't recognize me. It is kind of funny. This is such a small town for dating. It is distressing sometimes. I haven't yet decided what to email back to him...all he said was "you're a cutie." Yes I know.

I have several emails from men with children, as previously stated, just not ready to date someone with kids (unless they are super fantastic and so far they don't appear to be). I also have gotten emails from men who are either way too young or way too old. Ew. I also enjoy the emails that just say "wat up." Really?! How do you expect I respond to that you silly fish and how many women do you actually get with that?

I have continued to exchange emails with boy next door paramedic. He seems normal enough, but lives 50 miles away. Not a good thing as winter approaches us.

I also have exchanged several emails with the "smile maker." He seems cool. He was cooking a stew and watching football on Sunday, really what more do I want? He also is looking for long term. We'll see how this goes.

As far as the guy that I was trying to keep an open mind about. The man I did not find attractive, but had a job. Well he has inundated me with emails and every time I am online checking my email he sends me an instant message. It is over kill and turn off big time. I do not enjoy this and do like him. I think its time to disregard him. Some of you may think that its not a big deal, but it just is not sitting well with me and why chat it up with him when there are other people that actually spark my interest a little.

I've gotten an email from a couple people who were looking for "intimate encounters." Beyond icky. I found out how I can filter these creeps out so I should no longer get those emails!

I have been corresponding with someone who is also a sonographer! He is in Ohio at medical school because he decided to go back to school and is trying to get his residency in Reno. He has an interview on Dec 15th. I'm staying open for this fish.

There is a fish on here who intrigues me a bit. He has his own business customizing motorcycle parts via the internet and ships all over. He has a sleeve tattoo, but seems to be kind of a softy.

Another fish I've exchanged a few emails with is kind of your typical snowboarder type. He seems to be a lot of fun. We'll see.

I've also continued to correspond with rosy cheeked Hispanic fish. He seems to be clearly the most similar to me, so obviously he must be fantastic :)

Time for me to email back my schools of fishies. Then I will watch America's Next Top Model and feel old and fat. Good times.

Something New...Something Old

Some of you may wonder what does a 30-something and fabulous gal such as myself do on a Saturday. Well let's see...I got up, ate some Cheerios and watched Bad Girls Club. I then vaccuumed up a weeks worth of dog hair and tidied up downstairs. I then ran a couple errands, including getting my eyebrows threaded. Got to keep myself up for all these fabulous men I am about to meet! Such an exciting life I have!! I also bought a new future first date top. I am after all hoping to have some :) After lunch I went to the gym. Today upon walking into 24Hour Fitness I was immediately faced with a guy I went on a couple dates with about a year ago talking with the cute little front desk girl. She didn't even acknowledge me checking in. Why tear yourself away from the handsome man in which you clearly have an interest in to greet the frumpy lady who is wearing a T-shirt that is from her sister's high school softball days and has her hair pulled off her face. I can't say I blame her. From my elliptical machine I had a bird's eye view of their flirtatious interaction. I kind of puked in my mouth a little. So for the first 10 minutes of my workout I could see her tilt her head, smile and twirl her waist length perfect extensions (I want some!!) as he leaned on the counter clearly loving it. I will admit he looked awfully good in his tight black shirt that showed off his biceps. I am definitely a biceps girl. They disappeared briefly and apparently it was then time for her to be off work because she appeared with her oversized purse and he had put on a sweatshirt and was shaking his post workout drink and had his bag. As they walked out the door I seriously contemplated chucking my water bottle at his head.

I will tell you briefly about this man and where my bitterness for him comes. Raul and I met through eHarmony. I was the first girl he had met from the site. His friend had convinced him to join. He is handsome, tall, Mexican and had a good job. We met at his favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner. He knew the staff and spoke to them in Spanish. I admit I swooned a little over this. I suppose because I desperately want to be fluent in Spanish; however, my Spanish is limited to the basics and ultrasound Spanish. Plus I can call people nasty names. I digress...back to Raul. We had a great first date, spent a couple hours chatting, eating, and having margaritas. He said I set the bar high for his first experience with online dating. I was happy about that. We agreed to see eachother again. About a week later we made a bet on the Shane Mosely/Manny Pacquiao fight, whoever lost the bet had to cook the other one dinner. Mosely won the fight and I won the bet...he was to cook me dinner. The next day we went for a four mile walk and got smoothies. He was going to be moving into his own place and asked if he could cook me dinner after he moved. Of course. I went to Mexico for my birthday and he texted me while I was in Mexico to make sure I was having a good time. He also stated he owed me dinner upon my return. When I got back from my trip I contacted him...only to have him not call me back - EVER! I never heard from Raul again. I even texted him a few weeks later to genuinely ask what had happened. I never got a response. I really wish men would give me a reason when they don't want to see me again. If it is something I am doing I would like to know. I am not a crazy girl who is going to freak out and call you names or slash your tires. I will say thank you for letting me know and be done with it.

My first 24 hours with a Plenty of Fish profile has resulted in 15 emails, one with a gift, whatever that means. So the reading of the emails/checking out their profiles begins. My first email is from an attractive Hispanic man with rosy cheeks. He has a job. His email is short and nice. He mentions he is watching the Manny Pacquiao/Antonio Margarito fight tonight. Bonus. I will email him back.

The next email consists of this - "what are you up too? Lets hook up!" I looked at his profile, he is 24 and his dating intent is "wants to date, but nothing serious." As previously stated I will be staying away from these characters. I deleted that email.

So the next email is quick and short from a man with a job. I will respond :)

I am a little turned off by the next guy. There is nothing that awful in his profile - I just see us as different people. He has a job and a child. I have not mentioned my thoughts on children yet. I have dated people with kids and it is super hard. The last one I got attached to and it broke my heart when we split knowing that I would not see her anymore. I don't know if I want to do that to myself again. Plus baby mama drama is horrendous. No matter how much a guy says they have an amicable relationship with the child's mom the truth always comes out and then it becomes a whole lot of bad mouthing the other one (I speak from several experiences). I don't even know if I want any of my own. Gasp. I will skip over him for now.

I'm being judgmental on this next one...I know I said I wouldn't, but his hair is awful and he has bad teeth. I'm sorry I can't do it. On his profile it says not to be superficial. Ooops.

The next man is definitely a little stud with quite impressive biceps. He is a little out of my age range...but hey its not like I'm getting any younger and he looks good for his age. He has no kids. I am not sure of job since it says his proffesion is "smile maker." Hmmmm I will have to ask him what he does for work in my email response, but he is looking for a long term relationship. I like his profile. He strikes me as a fun, well rounded guy and he said "No I dont need you to climb a mountain or do a marathon." Definitely a winning line if I ever heard one!

Sorry next one has two kids.

Next one is also not looking for anything serious. He also spelled bored wrong in his email. Next.

47 years old. Definitely too old for me. Next.

I'm being open on the next one. He may not be my type in the looks department, but he has a job and no kids. He is divorced and ex-military. I sent a quick response to his very brief email.

I think I will skip the next guy. He is 34 and has never had a relationship over one year. He also does not want kids. I'm not sure if I want to go out with someone who doesn't want them. I may not know if I want them, but I want to keep that option open. Again if men are upfront with their intentions they WILL NOT change.

I like the next profile. He kind of just looks like the boy next door and he is a paramedic! Job!! He seems to be a bit of an uber outdoor guy, which may not fit with my casual outdoorsiness, but I will respond to his email. You just never know!

Whenever a guy says he is sexy in his profile it kind of makes me want to run.

Next guy is 26. Too young. Am I being too superficial on the age thing?

Last one is a guy I actually corresponded with on match for a bit before I started seeing someone and took myself off the site. However, in his email he doesn't even mention that we previously emailed quite a bit. I'm a little taken aback by this. I don't know what to say in response to his email. I even used some of the same pictures. Has he just been through so many profiles that they all start to look the same and he doesn't remember if he has talked to those ladies or not? Hmmmm I'm a little stumped on this one. He is just a bit older than I would prefer, but he has a really good job and no kids. I think I will just mention to him that we corresponded on match and see what he says. We even had talked about grabbing a drink together, but then our schedules never quite seemed to fit because he works nights. Someday I will tell you of the story of the douche bag I took myself off the site for.

Now I am going to do a little searching on the site and see if there are any profiles that pique my interest and email them and hope for a response.

As a 30-something and fabulous lady I will be watching the aforementioned boxing match tonight alone. My sister deals at a local casino on the weekends and I have yet to go down there when she is there, so maybe I will throw down a few $3 Blackjack hands as well. I will wear some extra makeup, dress cute and see what I can find for myself at the casino. There are bound to be available single men watching the fight, right? I will try and put my shy self up away and see if the new blogger in myself gives me the balls to talk to strangers.

November 12, 2010

This is the first post of my first ever blog.  Today as I was checking out at the grocery story I saw the People magazine prominently displayed in front of me. Kim Kardashian was on the cover and it said "Kim Kardashian at 30 'I thought I would be married by now.'"  Well guess what Kim, so did I! I suppose I should feel better about myself that a gorgeous woman like Kim Kardashian is still single as well (although if I were her I never would have let Reggie Bush go, yum!). I turned 31 and a half just three days ago and find myself still single after 12 years in the dating world. After three failed long term relationships and countless bad dates, good dates and just plain confusing times I have decided to share my stories. I have been entertaining friends and family with the woes of the dating world and I thought blogging would be a fantastic way for me to deal with the often dreary dating scene. As I sit here on a Friday night in my sweats, dinner consisting of Hamburger Helper and a chilled glass of chardonnay I am sadly reminded I am tired of spending evenings alone and after two months of non-dating I have decided to throw myself back out there. I am going to post a profile on Plenty of Fish. I have chosen this dating site for the pathetic reason that I have already done eHarmony and Match and clearly have not met Mr. Wonderful, plus its free. I have been through schools of fish already and who knows, maybe (but not likely) my fish will be on this dating site.

So now that I have decided to enter the online dating scene I have to consider my dating profile. The profile picture is clearly the toughest decision I have to make this week. Do I pick a picture that I think I look fantastic in, all done up with pretty hair and makeup, but not necessarily a daily representation of myself. Do I pick just a regular daily picture of myself where I could easily be passed over because it does not grab the attention of a potential suitor. Do I pick a picture in which I am doing some sort of outdoor activity, like hiking, to show that I am willing to do outdoorsy things - even though I look quite haggish and sweaty. Do I pick a picture that shows a little cleavage to entice the men, but then they might think that is all I am or do I pick the fun going out picture like Halloween to show that I know how to have a good time. All these decisions are enough to make me have a second glass of wine!

So then onto the profile name and headline. My profile name is easy - I'm using the same one I used before, but the headline - always tricky!! What can you really say to make a person look at your profile? Do they really care what you say? I'm sure if your picture is hot and you say something dumb like "Cowgirl seeks her Cowboy" you will still get men to email you. Of course you don't want to say something too philosophical or brainy either. Can't I just say - Hey, I'm a good girl and tired of being single. I doubt it would work. Dating games are so stupid. Now I have to actually pick my dating intent. Here are my options: 1)I'm looking for casual dating/no commitment. Um clearly this is not me. I also know to avoid the men with this as their goal. No booty calls here. 2) I want to date, but nothing serious. Well this sounds nice, but really this is just for those men who know better than to pick the first option because they are more likely to get a girl with this response than the first. Girls are dumb and will think, well after he meets me he will like me so much that he will want to get serious. Not going to happen ladies. If a man is upfront about his intent to not find a serious relationship, guess what - its true! So nope not my pick either. 3)I want a relationship. Well clearly this is the answer for me. I am looking for a relationship, but don't you think men freak out by a woman who is actively looking for a nice man to possibly share a life with? Hmmmm what's the next option. 4)I am putting in serious effort to find someone. Well this would be obvious- hello I am on a dating site...again. 5)I am serious and want to find someone to marry. Well gee Plenty of Fish, why don't we just scare off every single man possible who isn't possibly a leader of a cult. I guess the least of the evils would be option 3. I will pick that one and see how it goes... So I also have to state how long my longest relationship was...over 3 yrs.

The what "I am looking for" can be so general. Really at the ripe old age of 31.5 my requirements have dwindled to just a few - have a job and don't beat me. I know what you're thinking - how can I not have found someone??? I honestly don't know!! Although I suppose having all their teeth would be fantastic as well as not having a van load of kids. After reading a very fabulous book "Marry Him, The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough," I realized that so many of the things us women put on a list of requirements are superficial and limits us to potential people we could fall in love with. The book does not tell you to settle for someone you are not in love with, but only to open up your dating criteria because you never know who is going to be your perfect match. I am trying really hard not to judge people and exclude them for silly reasons. We will see how well I do over the course of time!

So some of you may wonder who is this Aimee, this Dater, Crier, Drinker...well I will give you a few stats. As previously stated I am 31. I live in Reno, NV (an often too small of a town for us daters). I work as a sonographer for the only level II trauma hospital in Northern Nevada. I own my home and have a fabulous crazy little dog, Lola. I have two bachelor degrees. I like sports and can cook. I'm not hideous and although I may not be at my ideal weight, I am by no means fat (even though I often feel like the largest one in the room - I guess we never get over teasing as a child). I have a good heart and am very easy going and am honestly tired of being alone. So I welcome you to join me on my blogging journey as I embark on this new attempt at online dating :)