Last weekend I told myself I would go skiing if the weather was nice. This isn't something I would typically think of doing alone. On the other hand when I go with friends I do a lot of skiing alone because I am on the easy green runs while they are on the tougher ones. So really this should not be much different. So Saturday morning (March 24), with the sun shining I grabbed my super cute Roxy snow boots with matching poles and my sparkly Atomic skis and headed up to the mountain. The snow was crunchy icy and it really wasn't that much fun knowing that I had no one to meet up with in a couple hours. I went on a few runs. I went to the bar and had myself a Nutty Irishman (Baileys, Frangelico and coffee) and did a few more runs. Admittedly this was not the most fun morning. I would go again alone, but its not my preference. The point though is I tried. Another social situation that I tackled alone! Single and Fabulous!
The next day (Sunday March 25) I wanted to do a wine and food pairing offered weekly at a local restaurant, Wild River Grille, for $25. I had to pump myself up for this situation and had to ask the advice of several friends if I would look like a single loser going by myself. The responses I got included - "Nah just look friendly to everyone," "No. You should totally go. Don't take drinks from anyone!", "I wouldn't think so, its similar to eating out alone," and "Probably, there are just some things you can't do alone." So with three out of four friends saying I should do it...I did! It wasn't bad at all! Of course the hosted was a little confused when I said I was dining alone, but then she pulled it together and asked if I would like to sit at the bar or a table. Bar please. It was actually quite pleasant. I sat right there in the middle of the bar. You can see my seat in the picture! There was a lady singing jazz and playing the piano and I had a delightful little four course wine with food. The food portions were small. They included prosciutto wrapped asparagus (something I make often and I actually liked mine better), mushroom ravioli, and spicy shrimp in some sauce. There was even a little dessert - butterscotch panna cotta. I would not order this. What a bizarre little item. It was like gel. So I actually was still hungry after these little starters and ordered myself a bowl of clam chowder and ordered a glass of wine from the first course. I was the only one at the bar for awhile...eventually two other singledoms showed up...but none of us spoke. That is terrible. After a little wine I should be quite chatty! I would do this again.
I am just starting my glass of wine and bowl of soup when I got a text from my friend...she is at Craft Wine and Beer with her husband and their friend (friend who I had dinner with at Fuego) and I should come down! I told her I would as soon as I finished my glass of wine. A little refresher on the friend, I had a lot of fun at our dinner and would have gone out with him again to see if I felt a spark, but he never asked me out again. I also did not pursue it as I was all wrapped up in Fun Sledding Guy - clearly the wrong choice. Friend and I had been playing Words with Friends (because all the cool people play) so we have had some sporadic text contact, but nothing of real significance.
So I head to Craft excited to see my friends and since I'm in my anti-dating state I feel no pressure to portray myself as fabulous (hard to imagine me not being fabulous, right?). I'm just going to have a drink with friends...uh oh I get there and think to myself the friend actually looks kind of good in his well fit plaid shirt with jeans, flip flops and a little beanie. I buy a bottle of wine and have a glass. We are sitting at the bar. They are all drinking beer. Having a good fun time. The friend is funny (I need to come up with a better name for him). Lots of laughs and maybe even some flirting. I told him he dropped the ball when it came to asking me out again. His response was, "You didn't seem that interested." Damn. I even told him at the end of the date I would go to sushi. I thought we had fun. He thought I was interested. Interesting. I suck at dating. Anyways, my girlfriend is determined to find a beer I like. She gets an apple cider beer...oh that is delightful! We each have a glass...I have another glass of my wine as well. Then the friend decides he is going to buy whiskey for us all to do shots...this is the beginning of the most embarrassing night of my life...I think.
I don't drink whiskey, but this whiskey was good. It had almost a dark chocolate after taste. Who doesn't like dark chocolate (both kinds ha). Its getting close to 6 o'clock and they are calling last call. We talk about where we should go next. My married friends decide they are going to leave and the friend and I head to Ceol. I remember leaving Craft...I don't remember much else. I should tell you I did not feel drunk at this point. At all. I am not kidding. I felt a little tipsy and knew not to drive, but that is it. Even later my girlfriend and the friend I left with had no idea how I went from being all good to dear God I don't remember anything.
So the rest of the story is going to be filled it with tidbits I remember and what was told to me the next day. Oh this is so embarrassing. I guess it just goes to show I cannot be fabulous all the time...single yes...fabulous no. I remember some giggling as I sat in a chair at the bar at Ceol. I remember going to the restroom. I don't remember peeing. I remember standing up and having no balance. This is when I went, Oh gosh I might be a little drunk. I do not remember walking back to the bar. I do not remember kissing the friend. I do not remember leaving the bar. I do not remember the car ride home except one thing. I remember looking down and seeing that I puked down the side of his truck. I do not remember throwing up, but I vaguely remember my head hanging out the window. He told me the next day that I asked him to pull over in the Smith's parking lot. Apparently that is where I threw up. At least even in my totally blacked out state I was polite enough to ask him to pull over instead of throwing up all over myself IN his truck. It was only down the side of it. I don't remember giving him directions to my house and I do not have any recollection of how I got in the house. Apparently I was trying to open my front door with my work badge key. Yes I am pretty un-fabulous right now. He was trying to tell me he didn't think that was the right key, but apparently I was convinced until he suggested I look for another in my purse. I then apparently CRAWLED up the stairs with my crazy dog running around my head. I guess I kept waving my arm to get her to go away and yelling, "Lola, no!" He put Lola in her crate and apparently me to bed. This all occurred by 7:30! Yes I was that drunk at 7:30!
I have given him a new found respect. The fact that he tolerated me in that state is pretty fantastic. He didn't have to and I see him as a good guy. He offered to pick me up the next day to take me to my car. I apologized profusely to him and as he is recalling my actions the night before all I can do is put my face in my hands, shake my head and apologize and tell him I really never have been like that. He said I was fine. I wasn't bitchy or anything and he was really surprised how I went from being good to having no clue. Apparently I was in the bathroom for quite awhile at Ceol. What was I doing? He took his truck to the car wash and got laughed at for the puke down the side. He said he did find it rather funny to watch me crawl up the stairs. The fact that he watched me throw up and was not totally turned off by me - I just have no words. What if I farted when I threw up??!! This just throws me into the depths of humiliation and I think he is nice enough that he wouldn't tell me. Oh God I die. This would have been a huge turn off for me if someone got that hammered the second time I had seen them. Wow. I'm still amazed at my un-fabulousness. I told him I would totally make it up to him by treating him to dinner. I feel like it is the least I could do and who knows if I will ever be able to pull myself out of the complete and utter shame I felt the next day.
So what I've learned from my quest to remain single and fabulous - I will never drink whiskey again! Maybe this guy is worth giving a chance. I'm starting to think so. The fact is I had fun with him and apparently was attracted to him enough Sunday to kiss him (even if I don't remember it). I would like to try this sober haha. I look forward to a potential dinner. We will see if I can keep all my jadedness at bay. It's kind of hard for me to think I could not go into something right now with a chip on my shoulder. I know this is not fair to anyone. I need to knock the chip off. Its just hard. On the other hand I think he has proven that he is a decent guy. Am I really ready to date? In reality I don't know - I still tear up thinking about the last two rejections, CD and FSG. They each told me nice things, CD saying that he was a lucky guy and FSG saying how much fun he always had with me and liked kissing me. This scares me because it just so quickly changed. Time only tells. Words mean nothing until its proven. Who knows if he even wants a date.
He did text me today to ask if I was having a better day. They are always so nice in the beginning...
Keep thinking happy dating thoughts for me and stay away from the whiskey. Until next time...
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