You may remember from my last post, Happy Anniversary, that I did not see CD again after that fateful day. The first weekend after that I had asked if he wanted to have lunch and he said he was going to stay in his town and get some stuff done at the office. He sounded kind of stressed so I thought I would just leave him alone for the weekend, which I did. I called him the following Monday to ask how things were going. He texted me the next day to say he fell asleep early. I asked him to call me that night since we hadn't talked in awhile (meaning no voice conversations since Nov 12, only texts). He texted me that night to say he was going over contract stuff and he was stressed. I suggested that I would treat him to dinner that weekend since he had been so stressed and he said no because his brother and sister in law would be in town for the holiday, but maybe next week. He said he would call the next night (the day before Thanksgiving). That night he texted to say he was at his moms and I should call when I'm off work the next day (Thanksgiving). So I did...we actually talked! He said he had been pretty stressed out and told me about what was going on in his life. His brother and sister in law ended up not coming into town. I told him I could tell he had been stressed since we hadn't spoken and he said he hadn't felt like talking to anyone. I was headed to a friend's house for dinner and he told me to tell them hi and to call on my way home if I wanted. I did call and we talked for just a bit. The next day I was cooking dinner for friends and I texted him to see if he wanted to come by and he said thanks, but he was at his mom's. I decided I was done asking him to do things. He texted me Tuesday night (the day of my last blog). Talked a little and he said he would be at my ugly sweater party and he was still planning to bring a friend (which he had asked about weeks ago). Yay!
Ugly Sweater Party Day...Dec 3. I love throwing parties. They are so much fun. I was excited. I was even excited to see him...but then as the party loomed I started to kind of be like, how do I even act? I haven't seen him in three weeks. How is he going to act? People started arriving around 6:30 and he texted me around 7:15 to say he'd be right there. I was opening a bottle of wine by the refrigerator when he walked in. I felt awkward honestly. He came over and gave me a big hug and kind of rocked back and forth a little, it lasted like 10 seconds - which is kind of long for a hug really. Anyway he introduced me to his friend. I told them to grab plates and what did they want to drink. CD told friend I was an awesome cook. Made CD a drink and had a little bit of small talk. CD is very outgoing and social so he started talking to other people at the party, saying hello to the friends he had met before. I was being a hostess and milling about as well. At one point CD, his friend and a friend of mine (who I know through my sister and haven't seen in several months) were all talking so I went to join in. CD gave me another one armed hug and we had our only real conversation of the night that lasted maybe seven minutes. He said he had actually met my friend at a Halloween party. The rest of the night CD gravitated toward my friend and spent the night in conversation with her.
It was time to start the games so I was able to distract myself with that even thought I could see them talking the entire time out of the corner of my eye. At one point though he did ask when it was my turn - my response "I already went." He then tried to fumble some excuse for why he didn't see it. Oh maybe because you're more interested in talking to my friend than talking to me? There were five games. At one point one of my friends asked how I was doing. My response was I wanted to kick him in the face and she said she knows...she had seen what was going on as well. I had prizes for the top three winners, well there were five that were tied so we were going to have to have a run off. I was beginning to explain this when I saw out of the corner of my eye CD and my friend exchanging numbers. It was at that point that I couldn't even finish my sentence I was so distracted and my brain just blanked...I turned around and walked out the front door. I had to get out of the house or I would have made a scene. A good party hostess does not make a scene, yet I just walked out of my own party mid sentence. I walked down the street willing the tears that were springing to my eyes to go away. I took some deep breaths. I heard my front door open and someone drive away.
Another friend came outside at that point and I asked who had just left, it had been my sister's friend who CD had been talking to. I asked if she had seen what had went down and she said she did and volunteered to call friend and ask what happened and then ask CD to leave. I went back inside and was just so disoriented. CD was sitting on the couch. I didn't even know what to do. I couldn't find my phone. My friend had it and asked if she could talk to me upstairs. I grabbed a couple chocolate covered strawberry jello shots (try them - they're fantastic) and followed. I was so distracted I have no idea what my guests were doing - I was not being a good hostess at this point, but I couldn't even think straight. CD followed and was like, hey Aimee I think we're going to leave. We have a bday party to go to at a casino. I said ok. I don't even know really what he said after that, I just nodded. He then said he got my friend's number for his friend (who was there at the party!!). Um okay. You know if you are almost 40 years old and can't ask for a girls phone number then you don't deserve it. He gave me a little hug and said he would call me tomorrow. Said he left $20 on my nightstand for food.
I headed into my room and sat on my bed, took a jello shot while my friend told me that she had called my friend who left and that she had no idea I was dating CD and that she had met him at a halloween party where he seemed to be kind of playerish. My friend who left texted me and said she had just talked to my friend and she had no idea, but she thinks it was all innocent that he was really just getting her number for his friend. She said she would never want to hurt me. I told her thank you. She then texted me to say CD had just called her!! What? He called her as soon as he left the party? I thought he got the number for his friend, so why would he call her as soon as he left party? That is not innocent. My friend said she told him it was inappropriate and completely disrespectful and told him not to call her and to man up and quit being a tool.
So in true dating form I sat on my bed with little tears streaming down my face and empty jello shots in my hand with three of my girlfriends around me saying all the right things. I didn't know what to do. I had a party going on downstairs...I couldn't go back down. There was no way to hide what had been going on. I am not a pretty crier. My eyes get puffy and red. Not pretty. Luckily my wonderful friends took care of it. I am quite embarrassed thinking about it now. So not a good hostess moment!
I admit I had a pity party for myself on Sunday. I didn't feel like doing a damn thing and couldn't really wrap my head around the fact that this has happened to me again...another failed attempt at a relationship. Why?! Not surprisingly CD did not call that day. I wouldn't have talked to him anyway. No intentions of ever speaking to him again. Then I got a text last night..."Aimee I'm apologizing for the misunderstanding. I thought we were clear on how I was not wanting to date now due to all of the things going on in my life right now. I thought I was honest and clear. Apparently I was not. I was honest and told you about getting your friend's # for my friend who is too shy to ask. I am not dating right now. I thought I was coming to the party as a friend not as anything more. It meant a lot to u so I wanted to attend. I'm sorry about the misunderstanding and any hurt feelings it may have caused." Um whoa, what?! I was fuming mad. My response "You never once said you didn't want to date me. In fact the last time I saw you three weeks ago you spent the night. How was that being honest with me? Over the next three weeks you were too busy to see me - you didn't say anything about not wanting to date. I'm an adult CD you should've just told me straight up rather than making me look like a fool." His response "We have a difference in what happened. 3 weeks ago? That is a long time. I thought we were on the same page regardless of whether I spent the night 3 weeks ago. Sorry u felt like that but either way I didn't do anything." That response hurt me bad. How can he think he didn't do anything wrong? When did he say he didn't want to go out with me? Never. Did he really think I would want him at my party if he had told me he didn't want to date me? I decided I would not respond to that text because I knew no matter what I said he would turn it around and make me out to the be the crazy one because that is how men justify what they do...by saying women are crazy. He clearly is delusional. He texted again about 10 minutes later "I don't think anything I can say will help. I can just say sorry and there was never any poor intentions only miscommunication." WTF. Miscommunication?! There was no communication at all about this. I am not being the crazy one. I would have remembered a "I don't have time to date" conversation!! So I drank some more wine and shed a few more tears last night for the complete and utter lack of respect he gave me. Just flabbergasted really. It's not even the phone number issue it is really the fact that he was so disrespectful to think that he had been honest with me about not wanting to date.
What is crazy is that the six weeks I did date him were amazing...no red flags, nothing. He was always talking about things we could do together and then on the last day I saw him asking my friends when we were going to hang out again. So no I wasn't on the same page with you. You were not honest or clear. You told me you were stressed out and busy so I took that at face value because of how great the previous six weeks had been. I'm not that sad about losing him as I kind of had already started to detach my feelings over the last three weeks. I think that is kind of natural when you don't see someone or even really talk to them. What I am sad about is the fact this is just another douche bag in a long line of douche baggery that keeps happening to me. I am truly tired of it. I am a good person. I did not read his signals wrong. Everything was pointing toward a relationship when he got stressed out. I was trying to be supportive of him. Wow, how did he really think he was clear with me?
I will be sad this week, but I know that time heals all wounds and I will get over this soon. I promise to try not and think all men are jerks...just 99% of them.
Keep thinking happy thoughts for me. Until next time...
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