November 12, 2010

This is the first post of my first ever blog.  Today as I was checking out at the grocery story I saw the People magazine prominently displayed in front of me. Kim Kardashian was on the cover and it said "Kim Kardashian at 30 'I thought I would be married by now.'"  Well guess what Kim, so did I! I suppose I should feel better about myself that a gorgeous woman like Kim Kardashian is still single as well (although if I were her I never would have let Reggie Bush go, yum!). I turned 31 and a half just three days ago and find myself still single after 12 years in the dating world. After three failed long term relationships and countless bad dates, good dates and just plain confusing times I have decided to share my stories. I have been entertaining friends and family with the woes of the dating world and I thought blogging would be a fantastic way for me to deal with the often dreary dating scene. As I sit here on a Friday night in my sweats, dinner consisting of Hamburger Helper and a chilled glass of chardonnay I am sadly reminded I am tired of spending evenings alone and after two months of non-dating I have decided to throw myself back out there. I am going to post a profile on Plenty of Fish. I have chosen this dating site for the pathetic reason that I have already done eHarmony and Match and clearly have not met Mr. Wonderful, plus its free. I have been through schools of fish already and who knows, maybe (but not likely) my fish will be on this dating site.

So now that I have decided to enter the online dating scene I have to consider my dating profile. The profile picture is clearly the toughest decision I have to make this week. Do I pick a picture that I think I look fantastic in, all done up with pretty hair and makeup, but not necessarily a daily representation of myself. Do I pick just a regular daily picture of myself where I could easily be passed over because it does not grab the attention of a potential suitor. Do I pick a picture in which I am doing some sort of outdoor activity, like hiking, to show that I am willing to do outdoorsy things - even though I look quite haggish and sweaty. Do I pick a picture that shows a little cleavage to entice the men, but then they might think that is all I am or do I pick the fun going out picture like Halloween to show that I know how to have a good time. All these decisions are enough to make me have a second glass of wine!

So then onto the profile name and headline. My profile name is easy - I'm using the same one I used before, but the headline - always tricky!! What can you really say to make a person look at your profile? Do they really care what you say? I'm sure if your picture is hot and you say something dumb like "Cowgirl seeks her Cowboy" you will still get men to email you. Of course you don't want to say something too philosophical or brainy either. Can't I just say - Hey, I'm a good girl and tired of being single. I doubt it would work. Dating games are so stupid. Now I have to actually pick my dating intent. Here are my options: 1)I'm looking for casual dating/no commitment. Um clearly this is not me. I also know to avoid the men with this as their goal. No booty calls here. 2) I want to date, but nothing serious. Well this sounds nice, but really this is just for those men who know better than to pick the first option because they are more likely to get a girl with this response than the first. Girls are dumb and will think, well after he meets me he will like me so much that he will want to get serious. Not going to happen ladies. If a man is upfront about his intent to not find a serious relationship, guess what - its true! So nope not my pick either. 3)I want a relationship. Well clearly this is the answer for me. I am looking for a relationship, but don't you think men freak out by a woman who is actively looking for a nice man to possibly share a life with? Hmmmm what's the next option. 4)I am putting in serious effort to find someone. Well this would be obvious- hello I am on a dating site...again. 5)I am serious and want to find someone to marry. Well gee Plenty of Fish, why don't we just scare off every single man possible who isn't possibly a leader of a cult. I guess the least of the evils would be option 3. I will pick that one and see how it goes... So I also have to state how long my longest relationship was...over 3 yrs.

The what "I am looking for" can be so general. Really at the ripe old age of 31.5 my requirements have dwindled to just a few - have a job and don't beat me. I know what you're thinking - how can I not have found someone??? I honestly don't know!! Although I suppose having all their teeth would be fantastic as well as not having a van load of kids. After reading a very fabulous book "Marry Him, The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough," I realized that so many of the things us women put on a list of requirements are superficial and limits us to potential people we could fall in love with. The book does not tell you to settle for someone you are not in love with, but only to open up your dating criteria because you never know who is going to be your perfect match. I am trying really hard not to judge people and exclude them for silly reasons. We will see how well I do over the course of time!

So some of you may wonder who is this Aimee, this Dater, Crier, Drinker...well I will give you a few stats. As previously stated I am 31. I live in Reno, NV (an often too small of a town for us daters). I work as a sonographer for the only level II trauma hospital in Northern Nevada. I own my home and have a fabulous crazy little dog, Lola. I have two bachelor degrees. I like sports and can cook. I'm not hideous and although I may not be at my ideal weight, I am by no means fat (even though I often feel like the largest one in the room - I guess we never get over teasing as a child). I have a good heart and am very easy going and am honestly tired of being alone. So I welcome you to join me on my blogging journey as I embark on this new attempt at online dating :)